Qantas: who ran down the roo?

The following post was originality published in “The Age” on Thursday 14th June 2012

Lost potential … Qantas remains a great international brand, but management has been unable to capitalise on that. Photo: Jessica Shapiro

Before we’re overwhelmed by the drama of Qantas’s potential dismemberment, it’s fair to ask: who ran the roo down and set it up for the chop?

This is where the present and immediately past CEOs will look suitably serious, wearily shake their heads and blame the workforce, other airlines, the weather, the economy, European crises, viruses, the oil price, foreign governments, the Australian government, the alignment of the stars, the flight patterns of penguins – any and everything except themselves and the decisions they’ve made.  And the board of directors standing behind them will nod gravely, pat their appointments on the back and metaphorically say:” Never mind, poor dear, have another million for your troubles.”  Yet the above list of challenges (with the possible exception of the penguins) simply is the business. Managing it profitably and sustainably is the CEO’s very well-paid job. In the case of Alan Joyce’s predecessor, Geoff Dixon, it was his excessively well-paid job.

It’s easy for the CEOs’ apologists to claim that the aviation business itself is insane and loss making, trotting out the usual Warren Buffet story about what should have been done to the Wright brothers. But well-run airlines still make money – including well-run full service “legacy” airlines.  It’s not fair to do a straight comparison of privately-owned Qantas with, say, privately-owned Cathay Pacific – among other things, Qantas has the advantage of a wonderfully profitable domestic franchise that Cathay doesn’t while Cathay has a more flexible and less expensive workforce – but both airlines have had to manage the same big challenges by buying the right sort of aircraft at the right time and flying the routes their customers want with the service their customers demand.  Cathay has managed to do that profitably for its shareholders, while Qantas has just fessed up to losing the thick end of half a billion dollars in one year on its international flights.  That’s quite an achievement, one that isn’t managed overnight. Which is why a broader coronial inquiry is reasonable into who might have killed the international roo before some wide boys might get hold of it, break it up, sell off the bits and flick the remnants.

Talk to some of the old Qantas hands and there’s plenty of blame to go round with Dixon and Joyce being apportioned plenty. They’re not necessarily right, but they make a good case.  Those who know much more about aviation than I do claim Qantas made mistakes in building up a hodgepodge fleet of different aircraft types with attendant higher servicing and parts costs. Blame the Dixon era.  Now Qantas is stuck with an aging fleet that is fuel expensive and is deferring the 380s it needs to be competitive while giving its first 787 to Jetstar. Blame Joyce.

A recent Financial Times story introduced me to the delightful chess term “zugzwang” – being in the position of having to make a move but when any move will put the player in a worse position. It might appear that Joyce is in Zugzwang Central.   To have a viable international full-service offering, Qantas needs new, more fuel-efficient aircraft and to fly the routes people want. The recent Qantas history has been one of surrendering routes one after the other and it is continuing to do so. On its current trajectory, Qantas’ international network will consist of New Zealand – or less.  But buying new planes costs money and would eat into the cash Joyce seems to be hoarding for his Jetstar ambitions – or for making the company an attractive target for carve up. And making routes work requires marketing and service levels that win customers, plus local knowledge. It’s expensive and if you don’t do it really well, you can lose even more money and cop a golden parachute.

One of the complaints about the James Strong/Geoff Dixon period was that the top levels of management were filled with executives without international experience, people who had no idea of how to turn an aircraft around as efficiently as possible in a foreign port and with little understanding of or feel for foreign markets. It was a takeover of international Qantas by domestic TAA (Trans Australia Airlines).  That could be the bleating of embittered former staff, but you can hear those stories from people who remain gainfully employed and respected in international aviation.  Qantas remains a great international brand – cue Dustin Hoffman’s Rainman – but management has been unable to capitalise on that, as demonstrated by the massive loss and shrinking network.

Then there’s the problem of Qantas’ industrial relations. Parts of its workforce are very expensive indeed on any international comparison, most obviously the cost of its CEOs and its baggage handlers. Both are paid much more than those at the competition. Baggage handling is a semi-skilled occupation but Qantas bag tossers are paid considerably more than the average wage. They can earn more than teachers and nurses.  You can blame a strong union for that – or Qantas management for not doing what the job title implies: managing. As for the obscene level reached by Geoff Dixon’s pay packet – a multiple of his airline peers’ salaries – that’s all the board’s own work.  For the baggage handling costs, the option exists for outsourcing that part of the operation. If the workforce won’t come with airline on the competitive journey, it needs to be changed.  There’s a danger that the separation of Qantas international and the announcement of that big loss is desired to frighten the workforce into greater flexibility but has managed to make the company a target instead. The adversarial model employed these many years – shades of old school IR – demonstrably hasn’t worked. Maybe because it hasn’t been adversarial enough, maybe because the workforce just doesn’t believe the CEO. In either case, the CEO has to take responsibility.

And talking of suspicion, the one that Qantas has been subsidising the success of Jetstar’s growth is widely spread among the Roo’s workforce. That an aircraft that Qantas needs – the 787 – is going to the low cost carrier rankles with those who still think the Qantas brand is worth something. Inheriting a world-class business and overseeing its creeping demise is nothing to be proud of. Cannibalising part of the old Qantas business with a low cost alternative was necessary, but pushing that cannibalisation to the point of exterminating the parent becomes dangerous.

As the sharks circle, threatening to slice and dice for a quick profit and run, the board should have plenty to ponder deeply.

Michael Pascoe is a BusinessDay contributing editor.

http://www.theage.com.au/business/qantas-who-ran-down-the-roo-20120614-20bvt.html

Move over Sid, @QantasAirways has a new kid in town, Megan!

Those of you who are familiar with my ramblings have found the saga of my mate Sid, former Head of Loyalty Operations rather amusing,  The feedback for some quarters has been down right flattering!  Well I got a new email today, personally signed by Megan Whitlocke-Jones with the whole enchilada marketing signature.  Qantas have replaced my mate Sid (figuratively speaking) and to top this off, Sid has updated his Linked In profile.  It would appear that Sid did work at Qantas, he just got some what confused between 2010 and 2012.  I have a created a new medical condition for this.  It is called Temporal Displacement Syndrome or TDS for short.  This is where individuals get confused about what they were doing and when.  This is not to be confused with Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson, who got disoriented about the Degree he obtained or not as the case may be.  Check out Sid’s new and improved Linked in page.

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But since Sid has moved on, so should we, sorry Sid.  So onto my newest mate, Megan.  My other mate Bruce (I do not have many!) is rather annoyed that he did not get the double status points offer.  Two months later he is still dirty and I have not let him forget it either.  I would phone you (Megan) personally to plead Bruce’s case but I feel that you would not take my call and who can blame you and that would be a bit pathetic.  And anyway, I would not want me to call me so accordingly Bruce can fight his own fights.

Back to Megan’s signature.  Now for those of you how like the full enchilada marketing signature, here it is in it’s full glory complete with flourish’s:

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So until next week or the week after depending on how eventful my travel is, voyages heureux.

The @QantasAirways mob are usually an astute bunch but this #frequentflyer deal ….

I was having a look at the Frequent Flyer Reward flights and found what can only be a stuff up on behalf of Qantas.

The people who run Qantas despite what I may have to say about them are a very astute group of people.  You may not always agree with them but the airline, despite my ramblings, is a slick operation.  The international side needs some finessing but by and large, they get by.

Back to the Frequent Flyer redemption search.  I was able to select a flight from London (LHR) on QF2 to Sydney and then domestic through to Melbourne.  If I book the Economy option all the way, the cost is 64,000 points and about half the cash fare again in tax’s and surcharges.  I works out to be a 66% discount with no status credits or ff points.

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This is where the problem is!  If you book the Business Redemption flight, you are charged 128,000 points but and this is a monster BUT, the leg from London to Sydney on QF2 is in Economy.  Hold the phone.  For an hour and a half in a 767 that is most likely older than your Great Grand Mother you get to pay an additional 64,000 points for 1/25th in domestic business and a glass of OJ before you take off in Sydney.  Just to put your mind at reat that this is no joke, the same let from Sydney to Melbourne on QF429 in Business is 16,000 points.  By splitting up the return leg, you can save your self 48,000 points.  They think we are fools!

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As I said earlier, they are a smart mob at Qantas but some one has been out for a very long lunch and probably should not have come back to the office that afternoon!  Maybe this was Sid’s parting gesture!

@QantasAirways are now trying to set political correctness agenda.

The complementary WIFI in the Qantas lounges is setting the political correctness agenda and I am not talking about adult content!

I was sent a link to web site a few days back about a guy who was asked to judge a chili (food) competition in Texas.  The story was a joke and a very good one at that.  When I finally got around to reading it, I was nearly ill with laughter.  Try reading it to a group of people!  But when trying to open the website in the Qantas Lounge, I received a redirect to the Optus security gateway aka the profanity filter.  I had hit upon a “restricted category”, humor!  Now I wonder how the likes of Kevin “Bloody” Wilson, Eddie Murphy and Will Anderson cope!

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I fired off a unblock request and Optus got back to me in a very prompt time frame, so human actually looked at my request!  I have been unfortunate enough to have had the horror of dealing with Optus and can say with a 100% confidence that an Optus operator CAN NOT respond in 4 minutes.

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Now Qantas seem to think that this type of humour is unacceptable and the following is what upset the good folk in the Qantas/Optus profanity department – you be the judge!

The following content was originally found at http://www.rollitup.org/toke-n-talk/27344-substitute-texas-chili-judge.html

Substitute Texas Chili Judge

Frank: “Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chili cooking contest. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.” Here are the scorecards from the advent:

(Frank Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie’s Maniac Monster Chili…

Judge # 1 –! A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

Judge # 3 — (Frank) What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy!

Chili # 2 Austin’s Afterburner Chili…

Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavour; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Ronny’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili…

Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 — A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now.

Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting pie-eyed from all of the beer…

Chili # 4 Dave’s Black Magic…

Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT…just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Lisa’s Legal Lip Remover…

Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne ! peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 Pam’s Very Vegetarian Variety…

Judge # 1 — Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I pooped on myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair! No one seems inclined to stand behind me anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Carla’s Screaming Sensation Chili…

Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 — Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me.

I’ve decided to stop breathing; it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Karen’s Toenail Curling Chili…

Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.

Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?”

Judge # 3 — Oh God………