Back to Basics

I started this blog as a homage to the in-flight service from Qantas on my weekly flight from Canberra back home to Melbourne. The genesis was a email that I sent to friends lamenting the service v price ratio and the perceived cost relationship discrepancy.

Well, my life as Punxsutawney Phil has swung full circle and I feel that I have been yanked from the hole again! The Guinness Book of Records sized Éclair is back!

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With all the excitement of the éclair and next weeks excitement where we get to see which toxic parliamentarian wins the leadership ballot for PM, I am keeping this one short. I think I should be PM. There is food for thought.

Happy travel’s

Ground Hog Day, again!

Three weeks back in the saddle with Qantas and it is like Ground Hog Day. Welcome to my life as Punxsutawney Phil!

I reached another milestone with Qantas, they have sent me Gold Membership card with all the trimmings.  The first time I took the “new” status out for a spin was today.  I had managed to bag an exit row and at 192 cm’s (6’4″ on the old scale) I find it rather uncomfortable on the 737’s and yes,you guessed it, they changed the plane and we got a new seating configuration.  A plane change is not necessarily a bad thing except, 11A was now forward of the exit rows. Sir, welcome to Gold!

Qantas also seem to have adopted new suppliers for the boxed food.  We got, what only can be described as pressed tomato biscuits with a yogurt dipping sauce.  In the good old days (last year) it was inedible Panini’s.  Being a past export of boarding school, I generally do not have food hang up’s as I would have passed away somewhere between my 11th and 12th birthday from malnutrition. But this is getting out of hand.

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Week ending Friday 20th January 2012

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Week ending Friday 13th January 2012 and if you are wondering, the dipping sauce is “Zucchini & Lentil”!

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I can safely say that I have managed to avoid breakfast in flight for the past 28 weeks of travel.  Under normal circumstances, you would be entitled to a refund for the unused portion of your ticket but not in this case.  I actually think I would pay a premium NOT to eat the breakfast.  Qantas have also taken the last and remaining item off the breakfast menu that was eatable – the reconstituted material formally known as a muffin.

Didn’t Tiger Airways get grounded in 2011?

Last year, Tiger Airways, the budget carrier and 4th player in the Australian aviation market was grounded for failings within it operations that CASA felt caused an “unacceptable risk” to the Australian flying public.  I have previously noted that Jetstar have it’s share of issues Jetstar botched landing at Melbourne Airport | Pilot pressure caused errors. This was one of a few reported last year. So, if you are an “Australian” operator with a large fleet, CASA will develop some sort of Stockholm Syndrome and look the other way.  I hope I am wrong but the press is not always flattering, particularly for Jetstar. I wear a “badge of honour”, never flown Jetstar (yet)!

The Qantas 2011 swansong

 

Originally wrote this as my final number for 2011 but events over took me and I just found the draft so I thought I would put it up anyway.

I was going to be melancholy about my final week on Qantas this week as this is my last week of travel for the 2011 calendar year.  I was going to talk about the good things Qantas do, the massive infrastructure and the employees who in their own ways go out of their way to help hapless travellers, such as my self.  I could talk about the magnificent engineering facilities that the Sydney Qantas Club overlook but at 7:20 this morning (Dec 12, 2011), that all turned to dust.  Someone had fed the Gremlins again after midnight and after closing the door, giving us the safety demonstration we were back at the gate where we sat.  Some time after 8:00 AM we were herded back to the Qantas Club for more coffee for which I have had so much this morning, I am starting to show the early symptoms of caffeine poisoning.  We then sat in the club while the next flight for Canberra left – allegedly no seats but I could not happen to notice that Joe Hockey and Malcolm Turnbull who were on our original flight were no where to be seen on the later flight.  So much for no seating on the later flight.

What irks me more than anything else is the contemptuous way in which we get treated.  If I am 5 seconds late for a flight I have pay additional fee’s or in some cases, purchase a new ticket.  If Qantas screw up, we, as passengers still get messed around.  Their is no come back on the airline as the provider of the service.  Today is an annoyance and I will miss an important meeting with my client and this equates to a economic loss for me as I bill bill by time and sitting in airport lounges is not a productive use of my time as this equates to non-billable time.  A few weeks back Bruce, a colluge of mine in Canberra, had a booking for Qantas to Sydney the Jetstar to Maroochydore.  The Qantas flight from Canberra was cancelled, so Bruce was bumped to the next flight.  This caused him to miss his connecting Jetstar flight.  Do you think Jetstar could care.  No, he had to purchase a new ticket yet it was Qantas (who by the way own Jetstar 100%) who caused him to miss his flight.  Good one Alan!

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Welcome the resurrection of the Flat Earth Society

Only three weeks till Christmas and I only have one page of bookings on my Qantas schedule or 4 legs to be more accurate. It has been a gruelling 6 months in the tail of the “sprit of Australia” but with the holiday season almost upon us, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is shinning bright.

Looks like Sid has been busy again pressing the buttons to punch out hundreds of thousands emails sprooking the benefits of bonus points up till Christmas. I noticed that the points are being sold to us as “BONUS POINTS – QANTAS 91ST BIRTHDAY”. Does that mean that the shut down was not to force all the parties to Fair Work Australia but ensure that ALL the staff could attend the 91st birthday celebrations. That is so thoughtful of Alan. I can not believe that the unions got so unhappy about the parties!

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Qantas and the Flat Earth Society

I regularly watch, with only a passing interest, the news on the flight.  It’s a grab of the main stories from Channel Nine delivered as a “special presentation” for Qantas.  This means that Mascot have strict editorial control aka, no negative press about the Irish, Qantas, Jetstar or the airline industry in general.  This editorial espionage also extends to the weather, the weather I here you say!.  Who would have thought!  Take Africa for example, It is a massive continent, with some 56 countries, a plethora of cultures, the cradle of modern man and a population of more than a billion but the Flat Earther’s from Mascot can only find Johannesburg in the south.  If we move onto Europe it is only marginally better.  Think Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Poland, The Benelux countries, Spain, Portugal, and Austria to name a few.  In the eye’s of Qantas, none of these places exist.  Not even the original Flat Earther’s were this naïve, ok that is a stretch but you get the idea.  When Magellan sailed from Spain with 5 boats into the unknown he crossed the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian oceans and although he personally did not make it past the Philippines, what was left of the rest of his fleet made it back but what they did show was the Earth is round.  If you want on take on the Asian and Middle Eastern airlines, you are going to need more than 4 ports in (2 code share’s) in Europe.

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Qantas – we fly everywhere in Europe as long as you want to fly to London or Frankfurt!

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Happy Travels and I have a final push for the year, next week I am in Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne.  Woo Hoo!